Va e teama sa nu plictisiti, sa nu vorbiti prea mult, sa nu fiti pisalogi intr-o conversatie sau, dimpotriva, evitati sa vorbiti de frica sa nu faceti vreo gafa si sa cadeti in penibil? Pentru asta trebuie sa stiti ca si conversatia este o adevarata arta, cu reguli clar stabilite. Aceste reguli insa nu se invata ca niste formule matematice, ci doar exersandu-le continuu.
Atentia, tactul, discretia, cultura generala, simtul umorului, politetea si sinceritatea sunt considerate a fi cele mai importante elemente ale unei conversatii de succes. Dar pana la a intra in miezul discutiei, simpla adresare poate da peste cap intreaga conversatie si poate schimba starea de spirit a interlocutorilor. Este bine de stiut ca tutuirea nu e permisa decat intre cei de varste apropiate, din medii sociale asemanatoare, cu acelasi grad de cultura. Se incepe de catre cel mai in varsta, de superior sau de femeie, in dialog cu un barbat. De asemenea, Codul bunelor maniere spune ca soacrelor si socrilor ne putem adresa cu “mama” si “tata”, dar le putem spune, daca sunt de acord, si pe numele mic. Daca nu putem depasi bariera pronumelui de politete “dumneavoastra”, ne putem adresa, de exemplu, cu “doamna Andreea”, “domnule Andrei”.
Intr-o conversatie trebuie evitate:
– generalizarile frecvente de genul “toti barbatii”, “toate femeile”, “toti patronii”, care sugereaza o limitare si o lipsa de imaginatie;
– barfele despre prieteni – mai devreme sau mai tarziu oricum se vor afla;
– glumele si afirmatiile ironice la adresa celor din jur;
– intreruperea brutala a interlocutorului;
– folosirea ticurilor verbale de genul “asta e”, “ce sa-i faci”, “ma rog”, “nu stiu cum sa-ti spun”, “in sfarsit”, care devin obositoare. Sunt considerate vorbe goale, folosite din cauza unui vocabular sarac.
Noul venit saluta primul
“Buna!”, “Servus!”, “Ciao!” sau “La revedere!” sunt simple cuvinte. Numai completate cu gesturi, cu mimica, tinuta sau pozitie a corpului transmit mesajul complet. Cine saluta primul este o dilema care ii pune pe multi in dificultate. Codul bunelor maniere cere ca:
– tanarul sau tanara sa il salute primul pe cel mai in varsta;
– barbatul saluta femeia, chiar daca este mai tanara;
– inferiorul pe superior;
– noul venit ii saluta pe cei care sunt deja adunati.
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